I'm Gonna Be Okay

Assalamualaikum

Being questioned by everyone not very know me so well, so I often ask myself,"Am I okay?" "Am I really okay with this?". This song is not for questioning that, but it always stuck in my head like I'm asking someone else,"Am I gonna be okay?". Well, for now, I'm gonna be okay, right?

Is it wrong to think you're sadistic?

I know you're sleeping perfect
While I'm over here hurting

I'm gonna be okay
Right?
I'm gonna be okay
Right?
I wish I could tell myself that at night
I'm gonna be okay, right?
*LANY - okay (feat. Julia Michaels)

See you
Wassalam

Will You Stay or Leave for Good?

Assalamualaikum

Last week I watched Toy Story 4 aaanndd it was a great great great animation movie I ever watched. Know what? There's a lot meaning about this movie more than just an animation and kids movie. It's bigger than that, greater than that and the better version of toys we've all thinking this whole time. 

Sorry for spoiler, but who's not enjoying spoiler right? So, this is really my honest opinion and review about this movie, so just chill out. After all this time, I figured out that Woody is a positive thinker and open-minded person (toy, i guess). But, after all this time, I thought Woody was so comforted being Andy's toy, cowboy toy. Then years after, Andy got into college and he gave his toys to Bonnie, a child with a happy personality and playing well with her toys. 

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When Bonnie play her toys, she's often playing with Woody, she prefer play with other toy until she went to her first day at school, she made a new toy. Woody saw that and he said to his fellow toys at home that they had to encourage Bonnie so she doesn't fear to anyone anymore. Long story short, at the end when Woody wants to join again with his fellow toys to be back with Bonnie, Buzz tell him that it's okay if Woody feel comfortable by not being around Bonnie, well Woody then met Bo Peep, his crush at Andy's house. So I guess, Woody now find his comfortable home, his comfort zone, Bo Peep. 

After post credit, I felt really sad and not moving from my seat because I need to clear my glasses and think again about the message inside the movie. I guess, it's really really great to watch this Toy Story 4. I mean, well, at this age, not so young anymore, I can relate very well what Woody felt. 

What if people don't need you anymore? What if, after whole this time, the place you think you were safe, comfort, lively and peacefully is not really your place? What if the "home" you're living until today is not the "home" you've been looking for? What if your happiness is out there, with your first crush that you've been searching for a long time? What if Woody...is not really a toy? I guess, Woody is like us, human. He's a toy, I know. But everything he did, it's really an action that we're doubting to do, even for ourselves. 

And yes, I, uhmm...should watch this again. Really appreciate the whole team in Toy Story 4. Thank you for bringing a positive way of thinking about friendship and living the life we should. Thank you, you made my day. And, thank you Woody, for showing me living the life to infinity and beyond. 

See you

Wassalam

23:52 - Days of Insomniac

Assalamualaikum

Few days after Eid Fitr, I can't sleep like normal. My sleeping time are messy and uncontrolable. I sleep up to 12 PM and wake up at 5 AM, then I was sleepy around 2 PM but I can't rest my eyes even for a second. 

One night, I watched Avengers and some other heroes movie on cable tv. After few hours, my eyes never gets sleepy, obviously it gets more actively with playing games and scrolling on the phone. I've tried to drink hot tea, hot chocolate and hot water to rest my body but still can't resist the power of "eyes open widely". 

Suddenly I tried to change my nap time. I played and watched korean drama with slow storyline. I tried to wake up during nap time and afternoon. Just because I had to sleep and feel tired to sleep early at night. 

Somehow, it works even just for one day. But sure, at night I sleep early, until midnight. After midnight, I just turn my body to left and right, pull up my blanket, checked on my phone til I realize it's near dawn, shubuh time. I prayed then tried to sleep again, well yeah I slept. I slept not very soundly but it's enough I think. 

I really don't know exactly what happens to my body and my sleep time. I tried to figure it out but maybe it just because I can't leave the Ramadhan vibes. Maybe. Now, I'm fasting again because it is Syawal so yeah, I can't really move on from Ramadhan vibes, even in my routine I always miss adzan Magrib hhahah :D 

How's your day after leaving Ramadhan? Is it good? Hope you'll continue your daily routine like you did in Ramadhan and the days after. See you in next Ramadhan

See you

Wassalam

Peace and Patience

Assalamualaikum

Honestly, I haven't been doing good for the last past months, I do, I try, I did, but turns out not a good reaction I've got. I know my mistakes, if I could tell honestly from the beginning: I couldn't do it by myself. Well at first I just said: let me try first, then I'll tell you what I need. Seems like I was distracted by some other works which really cost me a big deal. That's just a little story from my office work.

And, I do have problems too in life beside office probs, which is makes me feel small than my relatives and friends but yep, I can handle it. I guess. But still, I work on progress. 

Sometimes we need to stop a second to jump a little further. Sometimes we need to stop thinking hard by make an action and doing it. And sometimes I need my own decision respected by others, the non-judgemental people. 

I'm doing it now: relieving the stress mode and starting the "work on progress" thingy. And yeah, I'll bring my peace and patience with me too. Hope you guys find another way to solve your own problems in life. I'm out, peace and patience! 

See you

Wassalam