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Tuesday, February 13, 2018

May I...

Assalamualaikum

I can't see clearly, maybe because I have astigmatism. Therefore, everything seems blurry to me, but I can get through it. I try and I can. I did it. I can't feel anything, not because I lost my appetite but surely because I won't feel any bitter feeling, I could but I choose not to. Simply because I won't feel sad, i didn't want to. It hurts. It really hurts me. So much. I just can't...

It feels like I have no right to be happy. I try everything I could. I push my limits. I pull every chances I had. I did every single thing I could. But at the time, I realize something. Something I never imagine. Something really stuck on my mind.

Then I ask myself, may I feel a happiness, again? Even if for a second in life? May I...? I didn't put on high expectation, but please for one more chance. May I have a chance again? May I take it home and never return it back? May I...?

Please, give me a chance. I'm tired holding these tears. I'm hopeless to see the brightest shine. I would not say this if not necessary but I do need that, the happiness.

May I have a chance to see that happiness? May I be able to feel that happiness again? Or maybe I'm the happiness? If that so, then why do I feel lonely even in a crowded place? May I know why? May I...?

May I...?. 130218@11.19pm

See you
Wassalam

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